Medieval Toilets (and the Marskburg Fortress)
It’s true. I am overly fascinated with the johns of the middle ages. It began last summer in Copenhagen and is a trend that has fortunately (or unfortunately) followed me to Germany. Lucky for me, there are lots of old-time dwellings down the Rhine.
We visited one of them — Marksburg Castle in Braubach — last weekend during another pilots’ friends-and-family field trip (also organized by Deb McLauchlin). Marskburg is the only knight’s castle along the Rhine that is still standing in its original form, never having been destroyed by fire or war. After trekking the enormous hill to get there, I wouldn’t be surprised if the enemies just gave up and opted for a castle closer to river-level.
Here it is, the marvel on the hill, with the original part of the tower built in the 1200s. A number of families took ownership of, and subsequently expanded, the original building. For a number of years, the castle served as a state prison.
The castle is actually still home to the head of the German Castles Association today and is complete with modern living quarters, which unfortunately were not a part of our tour. Can you imagine inviting your friends over for a cookout — in a castle!?!
I wonder if they still use this kitchen for their dinner parties. Check out this Gothic Hall fireplace, large enough to accommodate an entire ox on a spit. Those were some hungry knights.
Our English-speaking tour guide explained to us that it was considered rude to excuse yourself from dinner conversation, even to use the latrine. So, the toilet was located right next to the table, and when one had to go, he simply went to the bathroom — with the door WIDE open –and continued on with the dinner conversation. (This strange dinner custom seemed slightly less odd to me after learning on a castle tour in Denmark that during 24-course royal meals, servants would provide buckets — yes, barf buckets — so that diners could make room for additional dishes. It was considered impolite not to finish … but somehow, vomiting at the table was deemed acceptable).
This is me, posing with the toilette.
You might ask, “sans modern-day plumbing, where does ‘it’ flow?” The answer, “to the ground below!” (Actually, kind of into the garden.). Honestly, the servants of the middle ages had it pretty rough. (Another shout-out to Denmark…in some Danish castles, people would just relieve themselves on the floor, and then — like stable hands — housekeepers would quite literally ‘muck’ the castle floors.)
One of my favorite parts of the tour was this enormous wine cellar, with barrel after barrel of vino.
After the toilet, the torture chamber was my next favorite part of the tour — not because of what happened here, but because I consider anything with shock value to be extremely entertaining. Everything from devices that would attach to and squeeze your thumbs (shown below), to tables, ropes and weights that would stretch your body until, well, your bones no longer connected at the joints — they had it all. Terrible. If castle-cleaners had it rough back then, criminals had it even worse!
Breezy and Kaya stayed home for this trip, but in case you were wondering, dogs ARE allowed — so long as they don’t use the trail up to the castle as a “dog toilet.”
Translation: “The way is not a dog toilet.”
Following the tour, we had some local cuisine in the cute town of Braubach, and I had my first wienerschnitzel (basically, a breaded and fried pork cutlet). This of course came with french fries, or “frittes.”
This is one of my favorite shots from town — old socks, and a sneaker, being used as planters.
We ended the trip with gelato that was possibly more delicious than anything I’ve sampled in Italy — and for only 70-cents a scoop! (Compare that to 2.50 Euro for a single scoop in Koeln).
Looking forward to more day trips. We have a lot of castles to check off our list.
Today, we’re off to IKEA (well, maybe, if Jeff feels better). However, at IKEA, we will be searching for furniture that will last us not 800 years, but at least two.
Three countries in one daaaaayng
Jeff thinks this headline is cheesy, and ignore the fact that “dang” is spelled wrong. But, seriously, on Saturday, I was in three countries on one day without ever once stepping foot in an airplane. That’s pretty DAYNG cool. (Jeff was busy flying to Israel, Greece and France. Lame.)
Saturday, one of the pilot’s wives (Deb) planned an outing, complete with brown rented minivan, to a glass-blowing exhibit on the outskirts of Aachen. I’m pretty sure “outskirts” meant Holland because we definitely entered a new country — new language, new roadsigns, and a new way to say ‘thank you’ (dank u, as opposed to danke in German). The presentation was in Dutch, but we had a nice bilingual gentleman sitting among us who shouted out quick English translations, much to the dismay of a whiny adolescent in front of us, who just thought we were a bunch of noisy Americans. The one thing that really stuck with me is that once the glass is blown, it cools in a 500-degree oven. Not sure if that’s Fahrenheit or Celsius. Either way, it’s pretty smoky. Oh, and the artisan made a glass horse in about 15 seconds. Incredible.
Here he is, spinning a platter.
The glass work was beautiful, and I bought myself a 35 Euro vase off the clearance rack. It matches the new counter-top in our to-be apartment. I love that on the bottom you can actually see the scar left from the glass-blowing tube. Makes it feel more like art, and less like something I bought from the HomeGoods section of TJ Maxx (called TK Maxx in Deutschland, by the way).
On the way to the “outskirts of Aachen,” I moved from minivan to Mini-Cooper with Nancy, Gail and Zukhra. Our GPS took us off-track about seven times, and I was thrilled to hear one of the FedEx wives say “shit.” License to swear! I’d been worried I was the crude one of the bunch. I didn’t hear too many F-bombs, but I look forward to breaking that ice.
Following Aachen, we made our way to the top of a large hill, from which you can see the Netherlands, Germany and Belgium. On the way, we got lost again (surprise!), and we actually ended up in Belgium. All the road signs turned to French, there were a lot more horses, and of course, thank you is said “merci.” Thanks, Ms. Henderson, for the four years of French.
Here’s another great view — not sure the country — we found along the way to never-Nederland.
We eventually arrived and met up with the other families. From “the hill” was a lookout tower, from which you can see the three countries we’d already been lost in. Snapped this photo with Gail, and behind us is Holland.
We also partook in more meat, french fries and beer, while some of the kiddos got lost in the labyrinth maze, also at the top of this hill.
We loved the beer from lunch so much, we went back to Belgium to a small grocery store, where we bought more Duvel, cookies, and of course, Belgian chocolate.
Then, it was back in the school bus and home to Germany.
That concluded Saturday. More on Sunday later …
A European Adventure 